Page 35 - BIKC - Eng

RESTRICTING ASSOCIATION WITH WOMEN 17

scholars of the Vedic age were totally forbidden from sitting close
to their mother, sister, or daughter! 44
Such chaste behavior helps to control the mind. The natural
tendency to be lusty is checked by deliberate restraint in dealings
with the opposite sex. As soon as one even slightly indulges in
looking at, unnecessarily talking with, or in any way behaving
loosely with women, then the guard is let down and lusty desires
begin to enter. Soon the intelligence becomes bewildered and,
being impelled by the senses, one cannot distinguish between
activities that are beneficial and those that should be avoided. One
who loses control of his mind loses control of his life, and becomes
controlled by mäyä in the form of a woman.
Therefore a brahmacäré must be careful to control his mind
and senses and not indulge them in the illusory pleasure derived
from seeing, thinking about, or talking with women. The mind and
senses are so strong that they can never, never, never be trusted.
The only thing they can be trusted to do is to sell us off to mäyä if
given even a shadow of an opportunity. One slip into illicit sex will
cause havoc in the life of a devotee.
Such strong strictures may seem odd in the context of modern
social relationships, but the fact is that unless this discrimination
between the sexes is reestablished, there is no hope for human
society. “A civilization that allows men to mix unrestrictedly with
women is an animal civilization. In Kali-yuga, people are extremely
liberal, but mixing with women and talking with them as equals
actually constitutes an uncivilized way of life.” 45
The scriptures enjoin that we see all women as our mother.
That’s a healthy approach for a brahmacäré—even if most women,
due to lack of training, don’t act like mothers.
Don’t try to impress women. We may not even be fully
conscious of it, but when women are present, the tendency is to try
to impress them by our good behavior, eloquent speaking, athletic
dancing, or whatever. Be careful.
However, fanatical anti-womanism is also unhealthy. How
many woman-hating “staunch brahmacärés” have succumbed and
become big enjoyer householders? The roughness of so-called